Why Your Family Hates You (8 Steps to Coping with ScapeGoating/Mobbing/Narcissism/Projection)
"It’s not you. It’s not your fault."
really hits home, i was definitely the ‘weakest link’ in my family - i was the happiest, the one who smiled most, the creative and artistic one, and the one who was easily hurt the most, the one who worried about my family the most. that made me an easy target. i was made the scapegoat in my family, i was blamed for everything, and i still am.
i’d been watching a few of this guy’s videos but hadn’t seen this one until now. i really like how blunt he is. he doesn’t avoid saying “your parents were looking out for themselves, not you, they were shit people, that was wrong of them to do that.” i prefer to hear this compared to many other therapists and self-help mentors who preach “your abuser is hurting too! they don’t mean to be bad, they’re just repeating what they’ve been through!” that approach doesn’t work for me, in fact, it traumatizes me further, because then i wonder, “maybe i should have done more to help them if they really were wounded, maybe i could have done something different and they would not have abused me. it must have been my fault they didn’t love me.”
anyway, this is a breath of fresh air and i wish this guy was my therapist.
"Can you stop it? No. Because they like it." Truth.